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Does matchmaking really work


Vera Chidi-Maha

The society we live in has a very funny and odd way of ridiculing a single person or persons.  Some are convinced that there is something wrong with the person. They go further to proffer a supposed solution by finding him a partner.

Matchmaking has over the years come a long way. Parents are often times guilty of this. I have heard of parents who want their children to get married to their friend’s child or children, believing that it is their place to choose and decide who their child settles down with. Married couples who have single friends feel it is their place to fix their friends with some lady or guy so that they can get married and live happily with each other. The question is, does it always work out? No doubt there are match – made relationships that have worked out and even ended up at the altar. But there are also cases that ends up in disaster.

It is just that right now, I do not have the accurate statistics of match made relationships that have worked out and those that have not. I recall with nostalgia how Ekene, a dear distant relation of mine became a very willing victim of match – making arrangement. Uncle Ekene, popularly called ‘Americana’ by all stayed almost all his adult years in the United States. He was married to Aunty Carol also a Nigerian based in US. They have two very wonderful boys.  I believe they were happy while they were there. They had been married for fifteen years. We know this because they made a lot of noise about their 15th year wedding anniversary. It was after their celebration that Uncle Ekene decided it was time to come back to his fatherland. This decision did not go well with his wife who decided to stay back in the US. The depressed and dejected Americana headed back home alone; without his wife and children.  He was home alone. Just six months after his return, everybody that was anybody in the family started bringing to Americana their friends and sisters. Needless to say that he was left with no choice but to sample and dump until they brought an undergraduate who doubted as a model. Today he is married to her and they have two girls and a boy. I believe they are happy. Or are they?  I don’t know, for everybody’s sake I pray that matchmaking thing worked out for them.

Recently, a divorced mother of two announced to her friend that her divorce had been finalized and that she was finally free from her husband. What was her friend’s thought?  To matchmakers.  Without waiting to know whether her friend was ready to enter into another relationship, she and her husband went to fix a blind date with her husband’s divorcee friend. The just – divorced lady was irritated by this intrusion into her privacy but her friend’s intentions and mischief to see where it would end took over. She however gave her conditions. There was no way the man was coming to her flat. Since he lived alone, they would all meet at his flat for lunch. It was agreed.

Readers, could you guess what happened? By the time they got to his apartment, the poor man had developed a cold feet and simply disappeared! He did not even have the decency to tell his children and house – helps where he went although his car was parked in the driveway. It was obvious that the poor man had also been rail – roaded into agreeing to meet her.  After about thirty minutes of waiting, she’d had it. Since she was earlier promised a good lunch by her matchmaking friends, she reminded the couple, and the lunch was provided het at the nice restaurant. So, matchmakers of this world beware. That a person lives alone does not mean that the person is lonely. Playing cupid seldom works.

Take another instance of a wealthy father who insisted that his daughter must be married to his childhood friend’s son. Before they met; they were both deeply involved in serious relationships but in order to please their respective parents, they decided to get together. Well, they found out they had next nothing in common. The ideal thing then for them was to go their separate ways. It was at the point of deciding whether to continue or stay together that their parents decided to play tin – gods. They blackmailed them into getting married by making their inheritance a condition. Not wanting to lose their inheritance, they both quickly consented to their parents matchmaking gimmicks. The wedding ceremony was lavish. But barely three months into the courtship, the worst happened. They willingly consented to divorce. Whether they will get the inheritance or not, time will tell. Match making is not completely bad, it depends on their individuals concerned. Relationship issues can be very sensitive if not properly handled.

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