I am in my early forties, married and have children. My husband was married before and had a child from another relationship before his divorce. 1 am a trained nurse and, four years ago, I met this gorgeous man in the Male ward. He was actually a private patient brought in by one of our consultants, to use the facilities at the teaching hospital, where I worked.
I was flattered when he started showing interest in me and, within weeks, we started a relationship, as he was in a private room.
His wife visited from time to time and I kidded myself that he was not in love with her, as he was always grumpy with her.
We arranged to meet after he was discharged, but he later cancelled the meeting and phoned to cancel the arrangement, as so many people would be hurt. He said we should be friends and I You were a married woman when you met this married man. What future did you think would be in that kind of an encounter? …You’ve got your children, your job and a husband who needs you. So, put them first.
should feel free to call him whenever I needed anything. He’s left me completely devastated. I tried to reach him on his mobile phone, but his wife uses it now. I’m tempted to go to his business premises to speak to him face- to-face. Should I?
Vivian, by e-mail. Dear Vivian, You were a married woman when you met this married man. What future did you think would be in that kind of an encounter? You wouldn’t be the first woman to experience heartache when, out of boredom in their marriage, they look for
excitement somewhere else. You met this man when he was ill and vulnerable. Now he is well, he’s a different person.
And while this man may not have set out to mislead you, he has. What started as a bit of fun suddenly got serious and he couldn’t handle it.
Don’t get in touch with him again. He’s made his feelings clear and he’s not worth your tears or your pride. You were engulfed in a fantasy and are now having trouble facing reality. But you have to; you’ve got your children, your job and a husband who needs you. So, put them first.
They’ll give you everything this man can’t.